Deflategate and It's Impact On The Local Music Scene

Deflategate and It's Impact On The Local Music Scene

deflategateThe Deflategate scandal has brought cheating to the forefront of everyone’s mind. Did the Patriots, or more specifically Tom Brady, knowingly cheat to gain an advantage in football games? We here at actually don’t really care. In fact, to the average musician, Football is as important as soccer is to the rest of the country (is soccer even a sport anymore?). What we do care about is local music. Do musicians cheat? We went on an expansive 6 month undercover investigation to see if cheating was occurring in local music. To our shock and horror we found numerous examples of cheating and deceitful practices. Below we have listed out our findings. We have changed the names of these musicians to protect the innocent.


Corked drum sticks

George L. – Did you wonder why George’s drum set was getting more hits? Now you know. We found a broken drum stick belonging to him that was secretly tossed in a garbage can outside a basement venue. You could clearly see the cork replacing the middle of the stick. This gave the hard hitting drummer a faster stick speed and less fatigue. Despicable.

Spitting on the pick

Chelsea P.- Sometimes you want to have a better grasp on the pick. Putting a little saliva on it can unquestionably give you an advantage. During our observations, Chelsea would quickly turn her back to the audience, place the pick on her tongue/mouth, and then continue playing as if nothing happened. Not only is in unsanitary, it’s unfair.

Stealing Set Lists

Patrick G.- Knowing what your competition is playing gives you a leg up. Pat would search stages and hotel rooms after a band’s show to find their set list. He used these set lists to outsmart the competition. However, in some instances the bands were onto him and would leave fake set lists for him to find. These fake lists included such songs as Wagon Wheel or Free Bird.

Pine tar on the neck of the guitar

Rachel V.- We all know sweat is the enemy of a guitar neck. One way to combat slippery necks is to apply a large heap of illegal pine tar well above an acceptable line. Numerous hit songs were homeruns due to Rachel’s liberal application of pine tar.

Filming other band practices

Mark T.- Without so much of a care, Mark would use secret cameras to video tape other bands practicing. He would study their moves in hope of learning something he could use in his performance. Power slides, stage dives, and windmills… all taken at the hands of Mark T.’s video camera.

Snowplowing a line to get gear into a show

Matt G.- Getting gear into a show during a snow storm can be difficult. Matt’s band used a snow plow to clear the area where they were loading. Their risk of slipping was reduced, but, was it illegal? The verdict has still not been returned.

Injuries to get more players on the stage

Ron N.- We all know the rules- only one bass player on stage. Ron would tell the venue that their bassist was injured and would be using a replacement. At the last second the injured bass player would show up and the two bassists would take the stage. A misuse of roster replacement regulations.

Misleading formations where the drummer sings the song-

Andy L.- For years a microphone would take front and center stage at plenty of Andy’s shows. This is the standard. Lead singer stand up front with a mic. However at Andy’s shows this was not always the case. Suddenly without even a hint or warning, the drummer would sing. This was not just limited to Andy. Even Ron N has been known to take a knee during a solo to confuse the competition.

Betting on shows

Chris N.- He claims to have never bet on his own shows, but we all know that is a lie. Racking up tons of debt, Chris has been banned from all musical activity. Hopefully he will never get into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame.

Do you know of other cheats? Comment below!

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