My mother always told me to not saying anything if you only had bad things to say. With this in mind, we tend not to point out the bad stuff in any review we do. Well, unless it is really terrible- If it is really bad- we let you know. It is in the total reverse spirit that we have decided to review the new album from the band ‘The Four Legged Faithful’. I spoke with the band’s bass player, Joseph Pierog, and he practically begged for a truthful and deep cutting review. He taunted me. He poked me. He made fun of my shoes. He made it impossible for me to write anything but a review that directed you, the reader, to each flaw in the band’s most recent album, “Devoured In The Dark”. So I am sorry Joey- You asked for it. We will only talk about everything on this album that is wrong, terrible or otherwise not worthy of being placed on an album.
Umm ok… lets see.. umm… the whale on the cover art is kinda strange. I guess I wouldn't call it THAT bad- it is just a whale.. Puking up birds... or is the whale eating them? It is drawn in white and black ontop of blue, kinda looks cool actually. Well, forget that, I do like the cover. Sort of has an old blueprint sorta feel and I like that. It’s a happy little whale. Now that I really look at it- I want a shirt with this logo on it. Never mind- I really like the cover. Let’s move on..
Ok, what else do I hate- Ok, the bass- OOOOO the bass playing. Just pathetic- it makes me feel so bad right here ***pointing to my heart***. I mean, I play a little bass and listening to the amazing stand up bass played by Mr.Pierog makes me feel bad about myself. How FREAKING rude to play SOOO well that it makes me feel like a lesser human being. It is totally uncalled for. He could have made a few mistakes just to show that he is not some sort of bass playing robot sent to Earth from aliens…. But NOOOO- I only hear perfectly crafted lines that mix between carrying the rhythm and providing a secondary or sometimes tertiary melody or harmony. It makes me weep. Maybe I don’t hate the bass either- I really love it.. ok.. let’s move on….
The vocals- seriously- the vocals is where this band really hits the fan. Most bands rely on one person to do the singing- the rest of the band either keep their traps shut or shout drunkenly off key. This is the way it is suppose to be. Not the case with the Four Legged Faithful. This band has decided to break with tradition and have four extremely talented and diverse singers. Who do they think they are? Their vocal tones skip between mixing perfectly to subtly highlighted timbers. It is fantastic… I mean.. I hate it… no no… it is awesome and I think I heard an angel get their wings on the last harmony- ok ok.. lets move on. There must be something on this album I can hate…
So… banjo- yeah- a BANJO- there must be something sucky about that right? I mean, it is a banjo. Only two teethed hacks play banjo right? Hmmm… nope. Damn it- banjo sounds good.. .damn it… acoustic guitar? Nope… that is good too. Mixing and production? It was done at Rocking Horse Studios- best studio in New England- Ok nothing there to make fun of. Mandolin is perfect. Crap- I have absolutely nothing that I can say sucks. Damn it. I promised Joey a review where I pointed out all his flaws…. Hmmmm.. lets move on.
OK I GOT IT… The Four Legged Faithful – I hate them because they are just SOOOOOO ugly- I mean, why else would there be a whale on the cover of the album and not a picture of the band in front of a brick wall or walking down train tracks. The Four Legged Faithful: a bunch of ugly gentlemen.( editor note: they are actually a group of moderate to above average attractiveness)
For more info on the band:
For more information NOT about the band: