Quick and Easy Ways To Get More Shows For Your Band!!!

Quick and Easy Ways To Get More Shows For Your Band!!!

Photo by Rhythm  of Life Photography Getting shows at bars and venues for your band is hard work. You spend hours locked in a basement, playing music, with 2 or 3 other guys, one or two times a week for band practice. This dedication HAS to pay off. IT MUST pay off. Your band needs to get a gig. There has to be one magical secret to getting good shows. Well, know what? There is. We have THREE quick and easy ways to get gigs(although somewhat illegal). THREE surefire ways to get your foot in the door of any venue- although it is also a way to get you tossed on your ass.. banned from playing.. arrested.. maybe even deported? But isn’t music worth the risk?

First method is what we call “SNEEK ATTACK!”- Go to random venues on the weekend. Show up early, like 6 PM. You must make sure you show up before the band that is booked to play for that night… and with confidence, set up all your gear- Pa –amps, drums, mics etc…. then when the other band shows up say- "oh- we booked with the owner- must be double booked. Split the night?". This might just backfire. You might get beat up by the other band. You might get banned from the bar forever. You might also die in a hippopotamus attack next week, so who cares- YOLO!

We call our next method “Fraud and Felony”-Change your band name to a band name that is already famous- Like… say- They Might Be Giants or Violent Femmes or the Beatles. Then, call local venues and ask if “They Might be Giants” can play their venue next week. Show up and play as the band- they will never know. Make sure you get payment in advance. Also, have a good lawyer- cause you ARE gonna be sued. I mean, this is totally illegal- right? So.. umm.. Maybe don’t. Don’t follow this advice. Yeah- Lawyer UP!

Our final method is called “Hard work and Practice”- There is no substitute for hard work, right? Well, that is a bull crap lie- there is a substitute- RICH PARENTS! For this method to work, you must be an over privileged little snot kid with parents that give you more than you could ever earn on your own. So, make them shell out a ton of cash(or what they call love) to buy your way onto local music festivals, or expensive recording studios… After you have done this- toss tons of cash at a booking agent to get you gigs. Let’s face it- money makes the world go round and if you have no talent, fake talent can be purchased. You don’t think this works? It does! Just look at ***Name of band removed pending legal action*** That group of “musicians” are talent-less hacks who just have lots of cash! ***This next sentence has been removed as requested by the P.W.A.C, NWA and G W Bush*** Right? ***word deleted by N.S.A*** has no reason ***word missing on final transcript due to penguins*** So if you are gonna do it make sure you call ***this last part was eaten by a rabid squirrel***.

We hope this helps your band get some shows!!!***This sentence is not to be read; so stop it***

Photos by-Rhythm of Life Photography

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