If you are going to be a guitar player; knowing these are things are a MUST! If you have not read part one- go do that. Things Every Guitar Player Should Know- Part one
18. Buy more effect pedals- Do you have trouble with chords and solos? Go buy some more distortion pedals. People won't be able to tell how bad you suck if you have your tone masked behind 72 different types of distortion.
19. Your gear is the best- do you have a 50 dollar guitar you picked up used on craigslist? Anytime someone asks you about, tell them how rare, awesome and undervalued your guitar is. your guitar is always a limited edition- special-one time only-rare-demo-first production run- low millage... even if it isn't.
20. Your band doesn't suck- It is just misunderstood by every single person who has ever heard it. If only one person says they liked it; Don't assume they were being polite. Hold onto that thought and keep playing. Everyone else will come around.
21. Ear Plugs are stupid- Your ears are made to hear really loud noises. No need to protect them. You should also poke yourself in the eye two times before each practice to toughen up the eyeball muscle. Also, make sure you dig deep with that Q-tip.
22. You need to jump at the end of every song- Bands need to know when to stop. You need to tell them. Nothing says authority like JUMPING in the air and landing on the last hit of the song.
23. Famous bands suck- Mock all famous bands and say how terrible they are as musicians. You can only like super underground crap that no one but you and some guy from Northern Greenland have heard. Eagles suck. 'Beatles' suck. 'Motorhead' sucks. 'Greenday' sucks. 'Tommy Bender and His Trio of 7 Guitars'; they are the best.
24. The Windmill- Pete Townsend did it. So should you. Every day. Everywhere. Practice while standing in line at the bank.
25. Get a cool Nickname- is your real name something stupid like Matt? or Mike? or Mark? Create a cool name. Look how it worked for Slash. After you create this name, make sure everyone calls you by it. If they don't, correct them "Sorry, you need to call me 'Mista Muncho' now"
26. You must look the part- every guitarist needs to look like a guitarist. You need one or more of the following to be a true guitarist- earring, tattoo, long hair, mullet, tight fitting tee shirt, top hat, tie that is way too short, dyed hair, Chuck Taylors, tight pants, acid washed jeans, highlights, Drew Carry glasses, and/or scarf.
If you have not read part one- go do that. Things Every Guitar Player Should Know