Your Band is Not Big Because You Are LAZY-

Are you wondering why you have not made it big yet? Are you wondering why you are not drowning in money? Are you wondering why your song isn’t on the radio? Are you wondering why Pluto is not a planet? Well, I can tell you why. LAZY. Yep. Damn lazy. You need to put in hard work and you are not doing it. Yes, even you. You might be thinking that I am talking about practicing more. Nope. I assume if you are reading this, you are a devoted musician. Practice is probably one of your favorite things to do, so you shouldn’t have any issues there. What I am talking about is promotion. Marketing. You are a lazy fugnut who is doing nothing to market your band. YES I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU!

I bet you still think I am not talking about your band. Well, let’s see if you pass the first test. Do you have a recorded album/EP? Are those songs available to be listened to/purchased on a website? Yes? Good… but that is not the test. How many local music podcasts have you sent those songs to? How many local radio stations? How many college radio stations? How many music publications? I bet that answer is zero to 5. There are tons of stations and publications in your area that are desperate for content. Contact them and then contact them again. You should be sending you music out to new places almost every week.

So you say you are already doing that? Ok, how about test two. Facebook page. Yeah, Facebook sucks but promoters and bookers use it. The number of fans you have is important. If you don’t have over 1,000 fans, you are lazy. Each of your bandmates should have invited their friends to like the page, that easily gets you to the 1,000 mark. If you are not at 1,000 yet, you are lazy. It is simple and you have not done it yet. Lazy!!!
Lastly. The one other thing that makes you lazy: show promotion. Do you have an email list? An events page? Posters? Do you tell your friends? Handbills? Do you do that for every show? No? Lazy- just like I thought.

So, to sum up. Stop being lazy. And in case you were wondering…. The reason Pluto is not a planet is because it is lazy too. It has not cleared all the debris from its orbit around the sun, thus making it not a planet-LAZY!

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